Short story - 20th Centaury Toys

20th Centaury Toys

     My brother Taben and I deal in Antiques. We had recently obtained a large batch of stuff from the mid to late 20th century, which we were sorting though for resale. This morning we discovered a box of toys amongst the various piles of stuff, and the things children were given to play with before the introduction of play-drugs fascinated us.
     The first thing I picked out of the box was a strange cube that seemed to be made up of a number of smaller black plastic cubes with colored stickers on. Each side could be twisted to change the alignment of the cubes.
"Whatever is this thing? It doesn't look like a child's toy." I asked Taben, passing him the object.
"It isn't. It's a type of intelligence test that was sometimes given to older children." Explained Taban, who twisted the sides of the cube. "They were told to treat it as a puzzle, and solve it so that each side only had one colour of sticker on it. The children with the lowest intelligence rotated the sides to try and match the colours up. The slightly more intelligent children would either peel off the coloured stickers and re-stick them in the right pattern, or smash the thing to bits and glue the mini cubes back on the right sides.
What did the most intelligent children do?" I asked.
"Oh, they just left the cube and went and did something interesting instead"
     Taben put the cube to one side and picked out a different item. It was box with a large floppy spring inside. The picture on the box suggested the toy needed a flight of stairs to work. So while Taben went off to test it, I rummaged though the box for anything else of interest.
    There were several creepy miniature models of humans in the box, which I had heard were very popular in the 20th centaury, but which are almost valueless now. In amongst these I found a strange looking tube that looked like it was made from woven strips of thin wood. Perhaps it was one of those magic trick devices that made coins disappear? (although did it seems a bit narrow for that). Hoping to find a valuable old coin wedged in the device, I stuck my finger in to investigate.
    Nothing. Disappointed I tried to remove my finger from the tube but it appeared to have gotten stuck. Naturally, (although in retrospect, stupidly) I stuck the index finger from my left hand in the other end of the tube, to try and pull the thing off of the right hand finger. I soon discovered however, that I had only succeeded in trapping both finger in the damn thing. I pulled both hands apart as hard as I could, trying to get them out of the tube. But the more I pulled, the tighter hold the thing had on my fingers. Whatever was this device?
    I couldn't believe it. I had been outwitted by a 20th centaury children's toy. Still, at least the thing was only made out of thin wood. If I could cut though the middle of the tube I would be able to free both digits easily.
    Unfortunately I had no idea where to find a pair of scissors. Taben would know but I didn't want to reveal to him what had happened. If he found out I had been trapped by a 200 year old toy, he would laugh about it for months. To hide the problem I stepped over my hands so the device was now concealed behind my back (although in process of doing this I fell over and banged my shoulder on the floor). I then headed for the stairs where Taben was using the floppy spring toy; it was finding it's way down the steps with some success.
"This thing's weird, it might be worth something" he said taking it back up to the top of the staircase again.
"Do you know where there's a pair of scissors?" I asked.
"There's probably some in the bathroom, but what do you need scissors for, Ivan?" he said suspiciously. "Oh nothing important" I said backing away. I would have to wait until he finished testing the toy until I could get upstairs to the bathroom, but it was no good he was suspicious and he abandoned the toy and bounded down the staircase. I backed away as fast as I could without tripping over anything, but he soon caught up with me.
"What have you done with your arms" he asked. It was no good the game was up. I turned and revel the trap that my digits had fallen into. His reaction was simply and predictable:
"Ha ha ha haa, ha ha ha ha ha haaa. Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa. Stay there while I go and fetch the camera. Ha ha ha ha haaa"
    My cover blown I ran up the stairs before he could find his camera. I got my arms back in front of me again, (nearly falling over and hurting my still sore shoulder in the process) and entered the bathroom. I searched around but couldn't see any sign of the scissors anywhere. It did occurred to me that I could try chewing though the tube, but it was made before the N.E.U. rules on toxins in toys, so I thought I better not chance it.
    Giving up all hope of escaping the situation with a single remaining shred of dignity, I started to head back downstairs for help. I would just have to delete the resulting humiliating photos from Taben's computer, I decided. However, I had completely forgotten about the floppy spring toy, which had been abandoned near the top of the staircase. I tripped over it, fell headlong down the stairs, and ended up sprawled in agony on the floor.
"Are you alright" Taben said as he came rushing back with the camera. He did at least refrain for taking a picture of that particular scene. Although as I lay there barely conscious with two cracked ribs and one cracked skull, I could heard him sniggering as he was on the com-phone to the ambulance service.
    Once they arrived I was carted off on the stretcher with my fingers still stuck in the damn tube.
"Never mind, the nano-bots will soon fix you up. Maybe you can do this while you're in the hospital" Taben said in between fits of laughter, and placed the cube test device on the stretcher with me.

As I finished my story the man in next bed, (who had an arm and both legs in plaster casts while the nano-bots worked on then) looked reasonably impressed.
"All right. You've had a worse day than me, you win the bet." He said passing over a fifty double-pound note with his one functioning limb.
    I reached out with the arm whose shoulder I had not injured but whose finger was still sore for being in the tube so long, and pocketed the note. Winning the money was the first good luck I'd had all day. Now if only I could finish this damn puzzle I thought, as I returned to twisting the sides of the cube.

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