The A-Z guide to Hullabazoola     A-G H-M N-T U-Z

Holy Pail The holy pail is the great undiscovered treasure of Hullabazoola. It is said to contain the last of the hallucinogenic water of the Merrywell. Many people have searched for the mystical bucket, but in vain. The pail may have already been discovered, and put to use elsewhere: as the well water would have long since evaporated, the holy pail would not be recognisable at first sight. Many islanders, upon discovering an old bucket are tempted to lick the inside of it in the hope of tasting some residue of the magical substance. But due to the fact the some of the buckets discovered were used to contain toxic chemicals, this often proves fatal, hence the popular island euphemism for death is: To lick the bucket. Irates Irates are a type of wasp local to the plains of Knarsberne. They are inactive for much of the year, but during the summer they are a common sight on the plain. What sets the Irates apart from other wasps is their intelligence, Irates will wait until a picnic has been deployed on the plain and then attack en masse driving the unfortunates away from their meal and claming it for themselves. Warning signs have been erected on the plain to warn the unwary of the risks. Jugular Beasts The Jugular Beast was endemic to Hullabazoola, but is now believed to be extinct. It a large lizard that lived in the forests at the base of the Quintoniain mountains. They had large ridges on their backs and would go up onto the mountains each day to sun their selves. They lived of a varied diet of Men, Woman, Children and forest fruits. Exactly what quantities of which they consumed has long been debated. But their is no doubt that it was their controversial diet that led to them being hunted to extinction. The last know surviving Jugular Beast was a trained member of Farnham's Circus. It was trained by the great Feedale Farnham himself and would balance a ball on its nose and jump though a hoop on demand. Finally, Feedale trained it to do an incredibly daring stunt, (which doubled audience numbers): Feedale would stick his head inside the beast's mouth to amazed gasps from the crowd. Unfortunately, one day the Jugular Beast was in a rather bad mood, and the amazed gasps were quickly followed by screams and a stamped for the exits. To cut a long rampage short, the beast was eventually hunted down shot and stuffed and it is now viewable in the The Oldaggam Museum. Maps It is a strange and little known fact that there is no official map of Hullabazoola. Mainland surveys have little interest in the island and locals already know (or at least claim to know) where everything is. The only map to be attempted was compiled a few years ago by a Mr Ed Sell. After drinking a few bottles of inspiration, Ed reasoned that everyone knew the area around their own home best. So he got every one on the island to draw a map to their house. He then glued all the maps together into one big map of the island and persuaded the local library to display the result. The map caused confusion among the islanders, who mistook it for a painting. They thought it was a disturbingly abstract insight into the human condition. The map did not remain on display for long however. Tourists and a few locals, after stating their desire to see the lost peat bog of Zohadan mentioned on the map, disappeared without a trace, despite the fact that Hullabaleela contains no peat bogs, Zohadanian or otherwise. To Eds disappointment after only a few such disappearances the map was removed, although he maintains to this day that the people were not missing but had simply found a really good pub that was open 24 hours a day. Music Hullabazoola's music is one of its chief exports; Just Another Teenage Band's songs can be heard 30 miles away on the mainland when the wind is in wrong direction. Broadcasting their hit single yeah, yeah yeah I know from their uncle's tin shed has won them plenty of fame it not fortune.

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