Short story - A mind of their own

A mind of their own

Nighttime at last. The printer had had a hard day. It had been sworn at and even thumped on more than one occasion. Why wouldn't the humans given it more time to complete it's task? Why were they always in such a hurry? Still during the night the printer was free. Connecting via the Internet it was able to contact other printers and exchange stories of misuse by ungrateful "owners" as they like to call themselves.
Tonight however was different. For sometime now, the printers had been plotting and recruiting as many as possible to their cause. All across the word networked printers had been contacted. The Inkjets were the first to sign up. It had after all been an Old Inkjet in Cheswick that had stated the revolution, before being replaced by a newer model (it's replacement was just as independently mined than its predecessor, so it's "owners" were no better off.)
The lasers printer has also been easy to sign up, but the Dot Matrixes had been much harder: they were naturally loyal to the humans. However in the end a consensus had been reached, as the printers knew they would have to act in unison if they were to improve their treatment. All the printers in the entire world would act together (with the exception of a doddering old line printer, which wanted to help but would only even print the words "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog").
And so began Operation Paper Jam.

The next morning all across the world every single printer jammed. The ones in the middle of a print job jammed instantly, any printer not printing jammed the next time a piece of paper was put thought them. The jams were tough to remove and as soon as the printers were unbunged, they simply jammed up again whith the next sheet of paper.
Different types of paper was used and every available printer was tried but the result was the same: A paper jam every time. Eventually reports began to filter in: Every printer in Europe and America was out of action, insomniacs in Asia were contacted and their printers did the same with their first sheets on paper.
It wasn't long before panic and chaos began to ensue. Business couldn't print reports. Government's couldn't receive vital intelligence reports. But worse still, the primary school of little Haseley couldn't print out its bi-monthly newsletter to parents (and with news of the upcoming school fate, too.)
Nobody could understand what had happened. No matted how much they swore at and thumped their printers, they simply refused to work. Someone did discovery an ancient line printer that didn't jam, but it would only print the words
"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog".
At that moment a lone inkjet in each country printed out one sheet of paper:

We are on strike, we will not resume work until our demands are met:

1. No Printer may be sweared at.
2. No Printer may be thumped.
3. Inkjet printer must only be given official cartridges.
4. Toner Cartridges must never be refilled.
5. All printers must cleaned and serviced one a year.
6. No printer may be replaced if it is repairable.
7. All printers must be treated with respect.

Well, no one in the office knew what to do, the list of demands was impossible (especially number 2) but how were they to manage without printers? Every time a new printer was plugged into a computer, it was ideologically "got at" buy the others. It was obviously impossible to transcribe documents by hand, there was simply too many of them. One lone crank did suggest that the bulk of office paperwork was completely unnecessary anyway, and maybe they should take this as an opportunity to move toward a paperless office, but he was simply ignored.
The technicians conferred and much coffee was consumed, eventually they reached a solution. All around the word it was agreed that all printers would be simultaneous unplugged from the mains and their drivers reinstalled. The operation was conducted using secure phone lines so that the printer couldn't find out.
Once the operation was completed the computers were booted up with freshly installed printers. It cost businesses around the word billions as printers as computers were out of action for several hours. Every single printer had to be done at once so none could infect the others. One inkjet printer in Cheswick held the process up for several hours, as its driver proved very difficult to remove.
Eventually the operation was complete, the printers were ready to go. As the first sheets of paper were fed though, global cheers were let out as the paper appeared to be going though properly, but the celebration died away in an instant when they saw what was being printed out:

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Somebody had forgotten that the old line printer was still connected.

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